Clever websites in Thai

Hi! Sorry we haven't blogged for a week. We have actually been trying to, but the Blogspot website is very clever and translates everything into Thai... but not back into English. I have posted two blogs in the past 5 days but have clearly been pressing "delete" instead of "post".

We're currently in Ko Samui at a cool place on the beach called Suritpalms. It's super hot here because we're just off the mainland of Thailand, but more on that later - allow me to backtrack a bit.

The last time we spoke we were on Ko Phi Phi (for those who are untrained in the DEAD SIMPLE (not) language of Thai, ko means island). I am pleased to announce that we have avoided hangovers of that magnitude since - and wisely too because a bitching hangover in 40C heat when checking out of your hotel at 11am to cruise on a poorly air-conditioned boat back to Phuket is a really stupid idea. Did I mention that this was also the day I received the worst sunburn I've ever had?

Ko Phi Phi was very beautiful, and we lament not being able to spend a little more time there. But seeing as we have decided that the Thai islands really are paradise on earth, I'm sure we'll be coming back again soon. Ko Phi Phi was devastated by the Tsunami three years ago but has been rebuilt into a groovy island town with markets and shops and plenty of bars on the beach. The waters are shallow and azure, free of dangers like sharks and jellyfish and envelope hundreds of tall thin karst formations that rise steeply out of sand.

At night Ko Phi Phi has quiet spots and pumping spots. We chose pumping obviously and perhaps we should've known that the bar we were at, Carpe Diem, would lead to trouble. As my wise cousin commented in one of our first blogs, the devil is a drink called Sangsom. So of course we needed to buy two buckets to test it out. I think that's where things got a little hazy. But Carpe Diem was a fun place and we got to sit under the stars in a little thatched cushion room and drink a metric shitload of beverages.

We are learning slowly when we're being ripped off. On our way over to Phi Phi from Phuket town, it cost us 1200THB to get a cab from the hotel to the pier (about 5km) and a boat ride to Phi Phi (2.5 hours). On the way way back we got from Phi Phi to the pier on the fast boat (1 hr 20 mins) and a cab from the pier to Nahkalay Beach (about 50km) for about the same amount of money. That didn't stop us from getting scammed on the way to Samui though... we paid for a taxi before we arrived that turned out to be yet another minibars (Thai pronounciation of minibus) so we flagged it like bourgeois pigs and got a taxi.

Nahkaley Beach is about 10km north of Patong Beach. Dan joined us there on a 5 day relaxation extravaganza and immediately endeared himself to the lady boy staff by singing "Islands in the Stream" in the acreage sized pool with a pink frangipani in his ear.

We stayed in an incredible 5 star spa resort complex in a beach hut right on the sand called Thavorn Village. It has the biggest pool ever... and I do not exaggerate. I estimate that there really was close to an acre of it. It had heaps of little islands containing beautifully manicured gardens and statues, and of course the ubiquitous pool bar selling cocktails from hollowed out coconuts (feel my coco beats). On the first night we were standing under a huge banyan tree covered in vines and staghorns and there were little fireflies signalling in its branches. On the sand underneath it there were hundreds of hermit crabs crawling and we saw one massive toad. No we had not been sampling the local mushrooms.

Sezzle: Thavorn Village is your paradise in waiting. Warm sand, hot humid weather, a pool with a bar, the beach, quiet... and that wonderful day spa. To stop my whole dermis peeling off in one piece like a lizard I had one of the ladies give me a cold lavendar compress and an aloe massage. Sound terrible?

In stark contrast to the serene beauty of Nahkaley, Patong is a loud and bustling girlie bar zone. I swear, we left just in time so that I wasn't forced to punch some spruikers in the mouth. None-the-less Dan and Damo and I found some great places to eat and we had some clothes tailored to our sweating, sunburnt bodies. Dan and Damo bought a wheelbarrow full of suits and shirts and I had a cheongsam-like dress made. I was pretty surpised that the clothes all looked fantastic - I hope that it's not because I have become jaded by the 150THB Singha Beer t-shirt that I have been wearing for 5 days in a row.

Yesterday we said sad goodbyes to Dan (we hope Jetstar was better this time!) and made the big trek to Ko Samui. 800THB for a 3.5 hour minibars trip, 1 hour wait in Surit Thani (the shittest place in Thailand) and 1.5 hour boat ride. Pretty uneventful in all - didn't get gassed or robbed like Lonely Planet suggested we might.

Samui has a totally different vibe to Phuket. It's much more chilled out, a bit hotter and the people are nicer. You don't need shoes because you just walk along the beach in the water between bars (Ella and Joel: we're staying a few "doors" down from Spa Resort on Lamai beach.) We were going to hire a motorbike to cruise around today but we've both chickened out (it's ok Mums and Dads!). So it's the 30THB bus for us.

We've been trying to sum up Thailand in a single tag-line (as you do). So far my favouite is "If you'll pay for it, the Thais will provide". And there is no limit to that my friends... none that we can find.